Vercingetorix

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Illustration of a Hungarian Hajduk, from an 1703 book from Bavaria.

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He rode a full circuit around Caesar's tribunal chair in gleaming armor, then dismounted and threw his weapons at Caesar's feet. Six years later, after rotting in a Roman dungeon, Vercingetorix was strangled.

Tom Horn, ex-Army scout and Pinkerton agent, hired out his rifle at $500 per corpse — then drunkenly confessed the details to a deputy. He was hanged in 1903 on his own words.

On Oblivion's 2006 launch day, a modder released a nude patch that worked perfectly — because Bethesda had shipped the fully modeled naked body meshes on the disc, just hidden under underwear textures.

Hajduks were hunted outlaws turned folk saints — men who fled Ottoman tax collectors into the mountains and were later immortalized in epic verse. The same raid that burned a village made a ballad by spring.

Gayle Rubin's 1984 essay 'Thinking Sex' placed consensual intergenerational sex on a 'charmed circle' diagram beside murder as objects of equal public hysteria. The map still burns.

Kublai Khan's fleets were wrecked twice — in 1274 and again in 1281 — by typhoons striking the same Japanese coastline. The Japanese named the storms kamikaze: divine wind.

In spring 2024, Kendrick Lamar alleged Drake had a secret daughter in addition to the already-hidden son — across certified gold and platinum releases. Two children, neither confirmed, both now public record.

Schiele painted children in explicit sexual poses, was jailed in 1912 — and the judge burned one drawing in open court as a torch, declaring it pornography. He was 22. The models were sometimes as young as 12.

Ben Johnson ran 9.79 seconds in Seoul — the fastest human ever timed — with visibly yellowed eyes. Within 72 hours, stanozolol was confirmed in his urine, and the world record was erased as if it never happened.