Kirby's Epic Yarn

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Every single element — Kirby, enemies, clouds, mountains — is stitched from actual yarn, and no matter what hits him, Kirby simply unravels and gets sewn back together. Invincibility never looked so cozy.

Joseph Valachi, convinced Vito Genovese had marked him for death with a prison kiss, beat fellow inmate Joseph Saupp to death with a steel pipe — Saupp was the wrong man entirely.

He blinded 15,000 Bulgarian prisoners and sent them home in columns of a hundred, each led by one man with a single eye. Tsar Samuel collapsed and died of shock two days later.

Colin Powell held up a vial of fake anthrax and pointed to blurred satellite photos at the UN Security Council on February 5, 2003. He later called it 'a blot' — his single worst word.

Trajan's two Dacian campaigns dragged 165 tonnes of gold and 330 tonnes of silver back to Rome — enough to fund gladiatorial games lasting 123 days straight. The kingdom of Dacia ceased to exist.

Ben Johnson ran 9.79 seconds in Seoul — the fastest human ever timed — with visibly yellowed eyes. Within 72 hours, stanozolol was confirmed in his urine, and the world record was erased as if it never happened.

Francisco Macías Nguema killed or exiled roughly one-third of Equatorial Guinea's 300,000 citizens, banned the word 'intellectual,' and had the country's last lubricating oil poured into the ocean to prevent escape by boat.

238 CE burned through six emperors in one year. The last standing, an 80-year-old senator named Pupienus, was torn limb from limb by his own Praetorian Guard. Rome's throne was a death sentence that year.

Tod Frye had five weeks to port Pac-Man to the Atari 2600 — constrained to a 4KB cartridge — and shipped a version so degraded that 12 million units moved but consumer trust in Atari never recovered.