Angora rabbit

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Ottoman sultans kept Angora rabbits as living luxury objects in the Topkapi Palace; their wool — harvested monthly by hand — was spun into garments reserved for imperial gift-giving.

The Xoloitzcuintli — hairless, wrinkled, warm to the touch — was bred by Aztecs to escort dead souls through Mictlan's nine treacherous underworld levels. Owners were buried alongside them. The breed is over 3,500 years old.

Painted 36,000 years ago on a cave ceiling in northern Spain, the Altamira bison are so anatomically precise that 19th-century archaeologists accused the discoverer of fraud — they simply could not accept the ancients were capable.

In 1857, Mormon militiamen and Paiute allies killed 120 Arkansas emigrants at Mountain Meadows, Utah — then blamed the Paiutes for twenty years. Only one man, John D. Lee, was ever executed, in 1877, shot at the site.

Liu Ziye forced his own aunts into his imperial harem, declared them imperial concubines, then was stabbed to death by a palace servant at sixteen — his ministers had arranged the blade.

He rode a full circuit around Caesar's tribunal chair in gleaming armor, then dismounted and threw his weapons at Caesar's feet. Six years later, after rotting in a Roman dungeon, Vercingetorix was strangled.

Rapture sank two miles beneath the Atlantic — an entire Art Deco civilization of neon, jazz, and crumbling marble, built to prove Ayn Rand's objectivism and destroyed by its own logic before a single player arrives.

Isaac Newton, who calculated planetary orbits, invested and withdrew from the South Sea Company in profit — then reinvested at the peak, losing £20,000. He reportedly said he could not calculate the madness of men.

Mugabe's hyperinflation peaked in November 2008 at 89.7 sextillion percent monthly; Zimbabwe issued a $100 trillion banknote that could not buy a bus ticket, while life expectancy fell to 37 — the world's lowest.